Thursday, October 9, 2014


Justin Nelson

Mrs. Belden

Honors English I

5 October, 2014

Ship Wreck

 

            Eyes red with deep circles as I watched the monitor of my computer switch between green and red arrows. Some stocks up—some stocks down. My fingers worked mechanically clicking and typing on their own, as my mind dragged behind unable to keep up.  Another shot of caffeine just to keep myself from collapsing as emails continued to fill my inbox. My eyes began to grow heavy, dropping farther and farther down until darkness.  Waking up disoriented at 2 am in my office I quickly gathered my things and left.

            Arriving home I went to bed. When I awoke exhausted.  I looked at my phone seeing 15 new messages from my boss most of them saying how he needs me in the office right now.  Other messages were from different organizations to which I owed money.  This was the breaking point for me, leaving my house and getting in my car I had no intentions of going to work.  Instead I drove to the marina and bought a brand new sail boat. Reminding me of my younger days when I used to sail in regattas.  Leaving port I sailed east into the Atlantic leaving all my worries behind.  Sailing now for about two hours I notice off in the horizon dark clouds forming. My blissful ride came to end when I realized I had to return.  Pulling out the map only to be crushed to realize that I cannot read maps.  My panic soon died down when I remembered all I had to do was turn around as I had never veered of path. When I jived the boat the sail bluffed because the wind was gusting.  The storm was closing in now as the first black cloud began to cover the sky above my head.  Panic returned as I ran around the deck looking for anything to contact the mainland. I found a small radio at the helm.  As soon as I turned it on, a gust of wind whipped through the boat causing me to drop the radio.  It slid across the deck hitting against the wall only to come back when the boat swayed back.  I jumped for the radio seizing it.  The wind was blowing harder now and white caps started to appear.  I scrambled around the deck as my boat was being thrown back and forth.  The sky darkened, lightning was dashing across the sky.  Rain was falling now in layers at a time swamping the deck.  I ran for the sub deck opening the door and closing and locking it behind me just as a wave came over the hull. Hours passed as the storm raged, at one point I could swear we were flying only to land hard jerking the whole boat. Wind whistled outside and the rain gradually let up until the noise of the storm was exchanged by silence. Even the waves were quiet. I opened the door to a clear blue sky and a sandy beach.  The deck was missing a mast with small remains of the sail that was caught on splinters of wood protruding form reminisce of the deck.  I remembered the radio, but searching the cabin I could not find it.  I continued searching but to no avail.  I must have dropped it during the chaos of the storm.  I gathered my remaining things and got off the boat.  The hull had a two-foot hole in the side leaking water.  I went up to where the forest meets the beach seeing something half buried in the sand.  When I approached the mystery object letters became visible spelling out “US NAVY” in faded red ink.  My spirits picked up with each hand filled with sand.  Pulling the crate out of the hole I unbuckled the clips and I open the box.   It was a cache of food also inside was matches bowls, I was happier than a kid on Christmas.  I decided to look around the island for any civilization.  For 30 minutes I searched the whole island finding nothing of value.  On my trip back to the ship I stumbled upon a spring of water, until that moment I did not realize how thirty I was.  I set up camp for the night on the beach piling up wood to make a signal fire for any passing by boats.  Preparing for bed I looked up witnessing the most impressive display of stars I had ever seen.  At that moment all fear and concern left and was replaced by an awing sensation of humanism and safety.  I feel asleep to the washing sound of the waves crashing on the beach. 

            The next few days were uneventful filled with long periods of watching the sea and making improvements to my camp.  I began to explore the island that I was on finding more creates usually tripping on them by accident when walking along the beach or in the forest.   I removed chairs and tables from the wrecked boat stripping wood from the deck and interior in order to build a shelter. Time passed days began to merge into weeks I gave up on watching the sea for boats accepting my fate.  Weeks later I was gathering bananas when I saw a gleam out of the corner of my eye. Turning my attention to the shimmer in the distance was catching the last rays of the setting sun.  I squinted me eyes and I was able to make out the hull of a boat.  Explosion of joy erupted in my body as I ran for the fire signal lightning a match I was about to throw it on the wood when I hesitated.  I realized I no longer worry about the troubles that used to surround my life I now enjoy myself.  With the match still burning in my hand I threw it on the sand stomping out the flame as I watched the boat vanish over the horizon.

 

 

 

6 comments:

  1. Jake,
    Wonderful job on your story. You have amazing imagery and sensory details. Why did your character decided to get a boat? Do they have anyone they might miss? I think that there should be more of a reason towards their decision. I can see why they hate their job and want to leave, but what makes them head off on the sea instead of buying a plane ticket to Europe or something.I did really enjoy reading your story though.

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  2. Hi Jake, I really enjoyed the visual picture that I got from the wonderful imagery. I also liked how well the story was written and the way that the main character was described. A third thing I liked is how well that the theme was portrayed in your story. It was clear to me what you were trying to teach the reader. I do have several questions though. One of them being was he really on a boat or was he dreaming? And also did the boat come and get him at the end? One suggestion I have is to wrap up your story at the end more and make it seem more completed. Overall, I enjoyed your story and it kept me interested! -Kelly

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  3. You did a very good job on writing this story. I enjoyed the plot and it kept engaged. I do agree with Hannah with saying why did he get the boat? Also, what did the character look like? I would describe him a little more. Your story was well written and I am glad I got to read it!

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  4. I loved your story and I found it very interesting. I was engaged in the story the whole time. I was able to picture the scenery in my head with the great usage of sensory details. The ending left me wanting more and kept me thinking about the plot. Great job!

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  5. Wow! Very nice job on your story. I loved the imagery you put in and I agree with Lily i could picture it in my head. The only thing I think you could add was describing the character more! Great work

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  6. Hey! Great Story! You had good plot, as to where the character can no longer take stress of his life and decides to change it. I also think you had a good ending. But I think you could add a little more context to why he wants to stay at the island. Maybe add more to why he wanted to leave in the first place? Overall it was pretty good!

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